12.27.21

    I keep thinking this has been the longest year of my life. That usually indicates some level of trauma but I can't claim any specific events in that regard. I think it might have had more to do with growth at the end of the day. I bet a lot of people can empathize with that. Look at what we've all had to pivot on, 'deal with', and re-calibrate. So many expectations, world-views, narratives, easy assumptions all tossed over a burning bridge. The lesson is: We're still here. Most of us are still here physically. Some of us are still here mentally, and other more adventurous souls have capitalized on every turn. I should have come up with a cool mask design, right? But I honestly don't think it's any of the above. I'd like to shake my finger at 2021 but I can't point to anything specific. I was inspired by friends and acquaintances who set their sails accordingly and road the jet-stream in another direction. Honestly, what the hell are you supposed to do? 

    In 2021 we walked from Mexico to Utah, met and camped with really interesting people living really interesting lives. Some are still with us. We're still in contact with a few people from the PCT as well. It's a bit of trail family. People you shared something incredible with, however short. Later in the summer, after hundreds of pages of documents and much hand-wringing and super-human levels of patience and no small amount of money, Hanne became a permanent resident of this ever-more-interesting country. In the fall we moved to Gothic, Colorado and lived in a great big cabin over-ridden with pack-rats and marmots. It's all good fun. But then we were forced to pivot again and head back to dear old Flagstaff about a mile from our little Elden Base Camp nook and start something else. We moved. We hauled. We showed up. We made a few new friends. Said goodbye to a few others. All in a life.

    Back "home" we had a month of recalibration. Hanne was finally able to fly back to Switzerland for a few weeks while I held down the fort i.e. remixed and mastered dozens of songs for re-release and built my studio up to its highest standards yet. Then I got tired of staring at monitors and dusted off the Fuji only to find the rear derailleur had snapped in a critical spot. This was no good. While I waited for the order to arrive (not knowing a hanger thread was stripped as well) I spend the weekends down in Sedona, stealth camping with the Nikon, looking for good pieces of sky. 

    Over the past three years we calculated that around 5,000 miles of trail had passed underfoot from the PCT to the Swiss Alps and the AZT and everything in between. I always tried to keep track of the available mileage on the Alltrails app but who knows. I remember meeting a nice kid outside Oracle as we shared a ride back to the trail head. He was hoping to get "His 10,000 miles in" by the end of the year. Wow. The thing about finishing a thru is that there's a kind of false glory to it all. You can't honestly recreate the romance and adventure and unknowns of the first one. By the second, you're swapping stories with Triple- Crowners and your scene has changed. On the AZT we were just another pair of amateurs, trudging down the trail, looking for good water and a piece of ground without cow poop under it. I guess all these little things made 2021 extra long. It wasn't just physical pivots, but emotional ones as well. It was a lot of dealing with reality. In my life, it rarely occurred that I couldn't do, say, think, or go wherever I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. It's called a Reality Check but I don't see it as any  series of lost opportunities. It helps to be polydextrous or at least learn new things. Heck, I still haven't gotten my German to a conversational level yet. That's 2022.

   All in all I saw a lot of surprises. I saw people behaving in ways utterly incongruent with their stated values. I saw definitions change. I saw information change. At times it was like watching a bad movie where the director thinks he's got all these interwoven plot lines and reveals and parallel timelines and dream sequences that you don't know are dreams. I was just yawning my way through most of it. Movies are all the same. Nature, on the other hand...well, my only advice is NEVER doubt the Meteo Swiss Weather app and don't sleep under trees.

   I'm still working on all this stuff. Hanne still gets to work from home while I still get to build things and listen to podcasts most of the day. Time in the Year of the Bluebird is getting a third edition make-over with a really great artist just finishing up the cover, plus the very few remaining issues. I've started another book about the AZT but it's being done in the most intuitive non-forced way possible. It's a linear story, not a Matrix in the Woods thing with philosophical constructs and such. I'm liking it so far. Lately, I'm thinking about cold weather gear and getting the Fuji back out there now that everything's back in order.

     We're just waiting for another foot of snow. I want snow and skis and the frosty alpine mornings. Good Italian roast. Homemade pizza. A glass of red. You know. The good stuff. 

    Do we talk about other thru hikes? Of course. There are ever-burning lanterns there. Ever-burning. Right now, it's winter. There's good music. There's little gatherings. That's when you stop and take stock of things. What do we value after three years of non-stop? You stop. Put your hands together. Say "Thank You" once or twice.