5.30.18
I’m not sure how to write this...
In Bishop while we took a zero after Whitney and Forrester pass I spoke with my mom at The California Hostel. The transfusion didn’t take 100% and the damaged cells are replicating again. The hospital basically said there’s nothing more they can do. I arranged to get off the trail after the Tuolumne - S Lake Tahoe stretch which seemed manageable at the time...I basically assumed the trip was over and I could come back in the future and finish it if I wanted. My mom wouldn’t hear of it of course and wanted me to stay on...in this way we can share our time in the best way possible. I honestly can’t imagine getting back on the trail right now or what that would look like but I’ll just do what’s best for everyone right now. Yesterday was probably the lowest day on the trail although nothing’s been easy since Bishop. It’s too soon to write about or process and there are what feels like years of wasted time and regrets over petty miscommunications that occurred when I wasn’t on track with myself...I only wish she knew how much I loved her all those years when it looked like I was choosing one strange path after another. God knows it wouldn’t make sense to any mother but here I am in so many ways because of her. I’m just glad we’ve got the PCT to truly share. As it looks now I’ll fly out of Sacramento on the 3rd of June to Flagstaff, spend a few days in Sedona and get back on the trail around Tahoe.
Yesterday after three days of slogging through snow, mud, and raging creeks Hanne and I decided over lunch at Smedberg Lake to turn around and return to Lee Vining via Tuolumne Meadows. Originally we’d thought we could make enough miles to hit Northern Kennedy Meadows within 6 days but the Sierras aren’t ready for us yet. We’ve basically spent the majority of every day post-holing for miles well below 1 mph, dependent on Guthook GPS most of the time and backtracking as we’ve become the ones laying fresh tracks in the snow. Sometimes tracks have been visible here and there but the weather has warmed and the mountains are in a state of massive change. Creeks passable in the morning are raging rivers by later afternoon. Shoes and socks are perpetually wet and we’re just not making enough tracks to get there with current food supplies. Other factors are that we’re both a little sad that we’re not really seeing the Sierras. The lakes are all frozen, the trails are non-existent, and everything’s so wet that the places where you can actually see the trail have all become little streams...and I couldn’t take the chance on the weather or possibly miss my flight not knowing what the passes were like up ahead, especially after seeing the slightly traumatized faces of hikers that had just done Bishop to Mammoth...One guy ‘Snacks’ had run out of food and done a 24 hr 47 mile adrenaline-fueled push just to get through. We’d seen him last on San Jacinto over a month ago. Another older man we met just before leaving Tuolumne had fallen in the creeks 3 times and waited 4 days in his tent until deciding to head out for his final push at 2 am just to avoid post-holing. The British fellow we met with a younger girl at Cajon Pass was now hiking alone a day ahead of her and missing a tooth...these are the ultra-hikers who passed us ages ago and we’d only chanced upon because we’d had to either do Bishop to Mammoth or Tuolumne to Tahoe. Tahoe was the closest to Sacramento to we opted to jump ahead knowing we could return to Bishop after hitting Canada...but this is where everything stands. We turned around. Right now we’re back at McCabe Creek 14 miles from Tuolumne. We’ll get in tomorrow, hitch down the mountain to Lee Vining, get a meal, upload etc, get back in contact and update everyone and catch a bus to S Tahoe. When and if I return to Tahoe we’ll head for Canada and then get back to Bishop to do Kearsage Pass (where we exited after Forrester Pass) and do the entire length of the Sierras again when we can actually see and experience more than snow. Right now all I care about is getting to Sedona in one piece. There’s so much...and so much I’m not going to get into with the general public over a blog...suffice it to say I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. I don’t say that to sound trite. I say it because this woman wasn’t just a mom. She’s always been a force of nature, instilling in me the courage to be myself, to answer the call to adventure, to go after our own version of greatness. She’s why I’m here, holding back tears looking out a great white cliffs in the distance, under tall pines on an island between two great streams rushing past on either side, in the middle of nowhere...soggy, sad and grateful.
In Bishop while we took a zero after Whitney and Forrester pass I spoke with my mom at The California Hostel. The transfusion didn’t take 100% and the damaged cells are replicating again. The hospital basically said there’s nothing more they can do. I arranged to get off the trail after the Tuolumne - S Lake Tahoe stretch which seemed manageable at the time...I basically assumed the trip was over and I could come back in the future and finish it if I wanted. My mom wouldn’t hear of it of course and wanted me to stay on...in this way we can share our time in the best way possible. I honestly can’t imagine getting back on the trail right now or what that would look like but I’ll just do what’s best for everyone right now. Yesterday was probably the lowest day on the trail although nothing’s been easy since Bishop. It’s too soon to write about or process and there are what feels like years of wasted time and regrets over petty miscommunications that occurred when I wasn’t on track with myself...I only wish she knew how much I loved her all those years when it looked like I was choosing one strange path after another. God knows it wouldn’t make sense to any mother but here I am in so many ways because of her. I’m just glad we’ve got the PCT to truly share. As it looks now I’ll fly out of Sacramento on the 3rd of June to Flagstaff, spend a few days in Sedona and get back on the trail around Tahoe.
Yesterday after three days of slogging through snow, mud, and raging creeks Hanne and I decided over lunch at Smedberg Lake to turn around and return to Lee Vining via Tuolumne Meadows. Originally we’d thought we could make enough miles to hit Northern Kennedy Meadows within 6 days but the Sierras aren’t ready for us yet. We’ve basically spent the majority of every day post-holing for miles well below 1 mph, dependent on Guthook GPS most of the time and backtracking as we’ve become the ones laying fresh tracks in the snow. Sometimes tracks have been visible here and there but the weather has warmed and the mountains are in a state of massive change. Creeks passable in the morning are raging rivers by later afternoon. Shoes and socks are perpetually wet and we’re just not making enough tracks to get there with current food supplies. Other factors are that we’re both a little sad that we’re not really seeing the Sierras. The lakes are all frozen, the trails are non-existent, and everything’s so wet that the places where you can actually see the trail have all become little streams...and I couldn’t take the chance on the weather or possibly miss my flight not knowing what the passes were like up ahead, especially after seeing the slightly traumatized faces of hikers that had just done Bishop to Mammoth...One guy ‘Snacks’ had run out of food and done a 24 hr 47 mile adrenaline-fueled push just to get through. We’d seen him last on San Jacinto over a month ago. Another older man we met just before leaving Tuolumne had fallen in the creeks 3 times and waited 4 days in his tent until deciding to head out for his final push at 2 am just to avoid post-holing. The British fellow we met with a younger girl at Cajon Pass was now hiking alone a day ahead of her and missing a tooth...these are the ultra-hikers who passed us ages ago and we’d only chanced upon because we’d had to either do Bishop to Mammoth or Tuolumne to Tahoe. Tahoe was the closest to Sacramento to we opted to jump ahead knowing we could return to Bishop after hitting Canada...but this is where everything stands. We turned around. Right now we’re back at McCabe Creek 14 miles from Tuolumne. We’ll get in tomorrow, hitch down the mountain to Lee Vining, get a meal, upload etc, get back in contact and update everyone and catch a bus to S Tahoe. When and if I return to Tahoe we’ll head for Canada and then get back to Bishop to do Kearsage Pass (where we exited after Forrester Pass) and do the entire length of the Sierras again when we can actually see and experience more than snow. Right now all I care about is getting to Sedona in one piece. There’s so much...and so much I’m not going to get into with the general public over a blog...suffice it to say I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. I don’t say that to sound trite. I say it because this woman wasn’t just a mom. She’s always been a force of nature, instilling in me the courage to be myself, to answer the call to adventure, to go after our own version of greatness. She’s why I’m here, holding back tears looking out a great white cliffs in the distance, under tall pines on an island between two great streams rushing past on either side, in the middle of nowhere...soggy, sad and grateful.
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